If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
