i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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