it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
