He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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