dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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