And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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