hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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