What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize