i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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