She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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