Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
