Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm just crazy horny about you
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
