oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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