he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just tell him i said nine months
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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