Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
