you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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