If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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