we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
