Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize