if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
