Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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