glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
