I just cut my nipple shaving
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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