we have officially lost it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My cat gives me a boner
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
