Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize