So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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