how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
