No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
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There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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