I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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