chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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