Someone shit on the floor
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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