this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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