I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You may now shotgun with the bride
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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