Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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