At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
