I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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