He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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