Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
