Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
