if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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