If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
