dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have feelings that need drinking.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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