Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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