I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How's work?
Spinning.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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