We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
