69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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