new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
