I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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