This is not my ceiling
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
