yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
