Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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