At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
my god I love twenty year old dicks
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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