I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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