Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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