I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
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Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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