My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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