she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize