im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
