i just wanna soil my oats bro
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
