Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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