I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She announced her abortion via fbk
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
